Why I Never Spent Money On Myself

Why I Never Spent Money On Myself

Not that long ago, I had severe money mindset issues. They were linked inexplicably to my lack of self worth at the time and my habit of avoiding any sort of conflict. The idea of spending any sort of money on myself or my interests felt unnecessary. I didn't feel worth the money. My happiness, my joy didn't feel like it matched the associated dollar figure. So, I bought clothes only from Kmart or Target or similar budget family brands. And I'd feel guilt after each purchase, wondering if I truly needed it.

Fast forward ten years, I married my husband and in time, we had children. I took maternity leave from my job and so was reliant purely on my husband's income for a while there. And so another dimension of pressure was added when it came to prioritising my needs. I felt like I had to ask for permission to buy things for myself... and with my aversion to even the slightest of conflict, this was very stressful for me, even if my husband didn't care less what I spent money on.

Can you relate? Are you like this at all? How did you overcome it?

But after some time, and some serious exhaustion and a massively empty cup, I realised that I NEEDED those things that made me happy. Don't get me wrong - I am far from materialistic. I am talking about quality clothing that won't be destroyed in the third wash. I am talking about healthy meal choices rather than a nut bar eaten on the fly. I am talking about spending money on premium art supplies even though artmaking felt indulgent for little old me.

I literally reached that point where I could not go on like that any longer. My cup was so empty, there was NOTHING to pour from to fill my children's cups or my husband's or anyone else's as a matter of fact.

For you, I want this self worth, this deep realisation that YOUR NEEDS MATTER. And please pardon the caps... it feels like the only way to get across the strength and importance of my message to you, my beautiful readers.

You are worth it.

If you need ways to make some quick cash to be able to afford something nice for yourself (something that will refill your cup), there are ways to make it happen, no matter who you are and no matter your financial situation:

1. Review your regular bills. Electricity, internet, TV subscriptions, health insurance, home insurance... all of these things can be reduced if you shop around a little. It is very much worth it!

2. If you're a fellow creative, produce some mini artworks or greeting cards and pop them up on your Facebook page or Instagram account. I bet you get a few sales!

3. Reduce your grocery bill by planning your shopping list before hitting the shops. You just have to pinky swear that you will stick to the list!

Notice how I am not encouraging you to scrimp on art supplies or your art education. You are too special, too beautiful to be buying budget art supplies!

With love and gratitude,

P.S. Soon I will be opening the doors to Permission To Paint - a guided online art experience all about helping you to make room for artmaking and build your watercolour painting skills at the same time. Subscribe to my email list so that I can notify you when enrolment opens.

Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.